Yes, I know. It’s damn too cliché. “Here is another blatant iPhone joke” your brain could say. But c’mon you could cut me some slack because I can’t stop thinking about things I can do with that much money (? 1,02,000 is how much for a 128gb iPhone X). Not that I have it in my pocket, but if I did hypothetically, would I spend it on the phone or buy myself a better experience with my ride?


Now let’s get one thing straight: I am a huge apple fan; I own an iPhone already, and I would kill to own that beautiful iPhone X. But I am also a bigger motorcycle enthusiast who loves covering long miles on a well-made motorcycle.

So here is another run of what I would want to do “IF” I had ? 1 lakh lying around and didn’t know what to do with it. And the iPhone X launch is not making things any easy for me and you.

1. Fuel = Kilometres to ride

Anybody out there who says that they don’t bloody care about their motorcycle’s kmpl figures at all, is just lying straight your face with no shame. Of course they do. Because everyone loves the idea of riding long strides at a time to experience that freedom and self-discovery that nothing else on the planet gives other than a motorcycle. And worrying about fuel economy is the last thing they want.

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So with ? 1 lakh, one can avail 1,430 litres of petrol (if the prices are not played by the government every day and keeps it at an average ? 70/lt). That much amount of fuel will give you roughly around 40,000 to 70,000 kilometres of riding depending on whether you are a free-rider rebel man or a commuter man (or a woman of course. I am no sexist).

I’m already making saliva bubbles with that thought. That is some heavy compromises to consider if I end up choosing to go for the fruit there.

2. Servicing your ride.

I am a man who loves to keep his ride spick and span at all times. That means either servicing my ride myself regularly or handing it over to the professionals (what they are actually called) like many of you out there, for at least twice in a year. A well-kept and respected ride will always come a long way into owner satisfaction.

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Say I own a premium quarter-litre or a mid-segment bike like a Honda CBR 250R or the KTM Duke 390. The servicing costs go anywhere from ? 2500 to ? 5000 if there aren’t any major repairs to carry on them. Thank god for my mathematics teacher, I can confidently tell you that you can service your bike for TEN years with that much amount. Phew!

I surprised myself with the result here. Ten years of servicing for my bike. That is, maybe, longer than how long I will own a motorcycle for!

3. How about getting yourself a new ride?

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Oh yes. With the choices available out there, the extra ?1 lakh can give you leverage to go for the next best thing you wished to buy but did not for price constraints: If you were buying a Royal Enfield Bullet 350, you could instead buy the sexy new Classic 500 Stealth Black with rear disc.

And if ? 1 lakh is your budget, you can go for either the Bajaj Pulsar NS 200, the TVS Apache RTR 200 4V, the Suzuki Gixxer SF or the Honda CB Hornet. Trust me, these are some really fun motorcycles to own and ride around town or the long stretches of highways.

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But just for the sake of humour, let’s buy us a nice little commuter two wheeler that costs half of our budget, like a Honda Dio scooter or a CB Shine if you wish to ride a geared one. With another ? 50,000 remaining, I can still pour in around 700 litres of petrol and ride it for around 25,000 kilometres. Or ten years’ worth of servicing!

I couldn’t help myself but shake my head and smile for an entire minute before I wrote this statement. When you put things into perspective, it just amazes you.

4. Take that longing trip to Leh & Ladakh

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The dawn morning crispness, fresh untouched terrain, painted stripes and an empty wide openness the road up in the north gets in all these senses you would not find elsewhere. You must’ve seen such mountains before, but the feeling you get when you ride just beside them is one to experience personally. The horizon, the clouds, the road, trees passing by and the sheer emptiness ahead of you will get intimidating and enchanting at the same time.

If you do your research right, or find the right adventure operators, you can feel that Himalayan winds wafting across your body not once, but for twice or thrice in your life. Trust me, that’s a wonderful feeling. Unlike anything else, oh yes. You can either do that or take your best riding buddy along with you for once at least. And do all of that in a luxurious and lavish way: Flights and stay.

An iPhone X will definitely not give you anything close to that, I bet my life.

5. Go buy that favourite helmet and gear.

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If you are already a motorcyclist, you will find no surprises here. There is always a better safety gear you dreamed of having out there somewhere you just wished was affordable. For ? 1 lakh, you could buy the top of the range riding gear combo that could cost upto ? 60,000 apiece.

Safety is and should be your number one priority. If you lose your iPhone, it is still replaceable. But if you lose or disable any part of your body, it could be permanent and no one wants that, trust me.

But the guy in that video above made his own dream even after being a 100% disabled. If you are half the man he is, you are sorted for life.

6. Customise and upgrade performance of your ride.

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Every motorcycle on the road is made to fulfil a purpose. It could be just for commuting or to travel the world around on all kinds of terrain. Some wish to just cruise along the highway for hours at ends without getting fatigued. Then there are these speed freaks who just want to be the fastest man out there amongst similar folks. For all of them, there is a bike that suits his/her lifestyle and each one of them have a vast scope of improvements that can be done for heightened satisfactions.

Factories tune motorcycles to run efficiently; and ofcourse there are a million regulations for sound, emission et al. Or maybe just the realities of building a thousand motorcycles a day frequently leave room for improvement both mechanically and aesthetically.

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You can enhance the performance of your ride with OEM supplied ECU mappings, iridium spark plugs, exhaust systems, air filters, crash bars, top of the line suspension and brake upgrades, tyres and all kinds of bells and whistles one can think of. You can even get your ride a fresh coat of paintjob done, add beefier tyres, and tinker around the body work with fairings, auxiliary lights, saddle and all of that hoopla.

CONCLUSION

There could be a million possible iterations that I could do with if I had ? 1 lakh, and was not wishing to buy the brand new iPhone X.

The thing about buying an iPhone X is that it will be used for making less ‘phone’ calls and more for everything else. Because, don’t get me wrong here but, it is the best device on the planet to do that. I, for one, might even end up buying one for all of that.

It’s (insert a slang here) brilliant at it.

But, if there is any honesty left out of me, writing this article made me realise that going for the key instead will teach me definitely more. I guess at the end of the day it is all about perspective and priorities. And loads of ??? of course.

Ted Simon-
“I have great trouble coming to terms with social media. I simply don’t understand how people have the time to be so involved in the lives of so many people. And I can’t imagine how their interest in those people can be anything but superficial.”